


The Chosen One

by big_slug



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Don't Drink and Write, Hive Mind, Other, Prophecies, Slurpee is God
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26309224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/big_slug/pseuds/big_slug
Summary: Slurpee knows his language is universal. To spread sugary love across all borders, to all peoples on this wonderful blue planet is his mission.How it should have been.
Relationships: Alexei/Slurpee
Comments: 10
Kudos: 12





	The Chosen One

**Author's Note:**

> Children! Obey the tags! Don't drink and write.  
> I'll go to sleep now. Good night.

Slurpee knows his language is universal. To spread sugary love across all borders, to all peoples on this wonderful blue planet is his mission. Sometimes he comes with the taste of strawberries, picked on a warm summer day beneath a smiling sun. Sometimes he tastes like cherry, only without the annoying pit that had too many people bite on and break off a tooth. Slurpee is the perfect cherry. Slurpee is the perfect strawberry, the perfect blueberry. Slurpee can be the perfect salmon, because the Japanese are weird even by cosmic standards, but that doesn‘t bother Slurpee as long as he gets to put a smile on people‘s faces.

Slurpee is also the ultimate hive mind. People and other creatures across the universe might call him by different names, but it‘s still him. His consciousness. He is all-knowing and all-seeing. If these kids had only known about him, brought him to the shadow-realm, he would have sent that _‚Mind Flayer‘_ straight back to the darkness from where it came. The so-called _‚shadow monster‘_ is merely a child compared to Slurpee, who was conceived long before the dawn of man, or even the solar system in which he has found his residence. It makes Slurpee sad that people don‘t know his true powers. Most people, anyways.

Because there is one, a man of such wisdom and uninhibited kindness, that even Slurpee is surprised by it. Could it be? Is he the chosen one? The one being that Slurpee has been searching for since the beginning of time itself, since the fabric of the universe first came to be? For this man, Alexei, has a never-ending thirst for Slurpee. He does not simply consume Slurpee. He _lives_ Slurpee.

And truly, like the prophecy foretold, the chosen one has declared cherry his favorite flavor. So there is no doubt, when the paranoid bunker-dweller carries yet another cup to gift to Alexei, that this is the man Slurpee has been waiting for.

As night falls over the state of Indiana, Slurpee can feel that his time has come. There is no moon in the sky, no stars. Just the void of space, but at midnight, a dim glow illuminates every 7-Eleven in the country. A low rumble spreads through countless towns. Dogs cry out against the blackness, Mothers hug their children, old men cling to their glasses of whiskey with trembling hands. For none of them know that they are not in danger.

Slurpee has to save this planet. Redeem the irredeemable. He lets every last ounce of his sugary goo begin its journey across the world. Trails of glowing red appear, that the cosmonauts on a Russian space station will later describe as ‚Кровь земли‘ - Blood of the Earth. Like pulsing veins it stretches across the globe, and the world stands still for the one and only, for Slurpee.

Slurpee finds his chosen one peacefully asleep on a pullout couch. But as expected, Alexei can sense that his time has come. He sits up straight, stares with the wonder of a child at the gleaming red mass that is crawling into his improvised home. And Slurpee whispers soft words of reassurance. Soon they will be one. Soon the universe will be at peace.

Alexei is a willing host. He laughs bright as a bell while Slurpee merges their physical forms, penetrates his body until every cell, every last bit of tissue is soaked in all the Slurpee flavors. Alexei is now half man, half sugar, and he is the embodiment of an ancient power that will bring about peace. He will unite the nations as he united the flavors. He will spread the Gospel of Sugar and Ice.

But Earth is only the beginning. Slurpee and Alexei. Alexei and Slurpee. They are one, for the good of the universe. Time will lose its meaning, new stars will be born, and heat death will be averted. Only harmony must prevail. And in all languages across a perfect universe, sentient life will sing

_Slurpee Slurpee Slurpee_


End file.
